How to Deal with the Yucks!
Parents can be a great emotional support for their children during a big transition, such as divorce. You can model great coping skills, you can give more attention to your children, and you can encourage your child to strengthen certain life skills and attitudes that foster resiliency. The following is a list of things you can encourage your child to do for themselves:
You can find these and other great tips for children in Mon's House...How to Feel better Fast by myself (Excerpt taken from Mom's House Dad's House for Kinds by Isolina Ricci, Ph.D.)
- Breathe in slowly and deeply around three times. If it doesn't work the first time, do it again in a few minutes.
- Make a "Feel Good" List: Ask yourself...What do I like to do that makes me feel good? Keep this list close by and pick one or two things from the list when you want to feel better. It might look like this:
- Talk to my friend
- Call Grandma
- Pet my dog
- Ride my bike
- Talk to yourself: I know talking to yourself feels weird, but it can make you feel better. You can do it softly or in your head and no one will know. You can say things like, "Calm down", "Take a deep breath, and take a break", "I am feeling (sad, angry, frustrated and etc.), but I will be o.k."
- Tell yourself that you are not weird! Remind yourself that other children have gone through divorce and are o.k and I will be o.k too!
- Hang out with Your Feelings: It is o.k to feel sad, angry, frustrated, and upset. Sometimes you will have a whole stew of emotions. Remember your feelings will change after awhile, especially once you can think about them and find ways to express them by yourself or with people you trust. However, it is not o.k to hurt yourself or anybody else when you are feeling mad.
- Draw or Write. Drawing pictures and writing in a journal are great ways to express your feelings. You can keel them private of share them with others.