1. It starts with you: Face your own fears and concerns as you deal with your child's emotions.

2. Communicate Openness. Some open messages are:

a. I can handle your questions. Go ahead and ask.

b. I am unhappy right now, but life is not falling apart.

c. I may not have the answers, but I don't mind thinking about it and trying to find it out.

3. Set the stage by creating an atmosphere for conversation. Remove yourself from distractions; get to the same level with your child.

4. Listen, Listen, Listen, Listen without teaching. Listen without judgement. Listen without fixing. Listen without defending.

5. Be patient. It is easy to talk. It is difficult to communicate how yo re thinking and feeling.

Practice these tips over and over with your children. Understand that there isn't a "perfect" divorce talk. The best understanding occurs over time while having several conversations. Just remember that when you are open they are more likely to open up.